Traditions
by Can'tStopImagining
Summary: Transylvania doesn't celebrate Christmas. Columbia takes it upon herself to educate her new friend in Earth traditions. (Riffgenta, Columbia/Magenta friendship).


**A/N: **A silly little Christmas story that came into my head. As usual, characters are mostly based on the stage version, particularly the recent UK tour. Comments would be lovely :)

Earth's weather was odd. This wasn't something Magenta had only just realised, but more something she had observed over time, and still struggled to understand. In Transylvania, each day was the same as the one before it: misty, with mild temperatures, and pale, cloud-less skies, aside from certain areas that were permanently drenched in sun. On Earth, the weather changed almost daily, and it was a struggle to keep up with. It wasn't just the weather. The period of light between darknesses would go from being fourteen hours long, to nine or ten, with seemingly no explanation. Magenta definitely preferred the shorter days. She struggled with exposure to sunlight, and on the shorter days, the castle was cast mostly in shadow.

Columbia, the Earth girl that Frank had taken in several months ago, had tried in vain to explain these changes to her. She wasn't all that good at putting things logically, and by the end of their conversation, Magenta had been left wondering whether she herself even understood what she was talking about. A year was split into four, and the weather depended mostly on which of these four "seasons" (as Columbia called them) the day fell into.

Given that Magenta was rarely permitted to leave the castle, it didn't matter much to her what it was doing outside, but she did like to know when to expect the longer days.

One night, as she was lying on her bed, a magazine spread out over her lap, Columbia came bounding in, prattling away about something or other at the top of her increasingly high pitched voice. Magenta had grown used to drowning out the sound of her voice when she was in these moods, but she could hardly ignore her constant jabbering when it was right in her ear. Eventually, she gave in, tossing her magazine aside and casting her eyes in her direction.

"What?"

"Look!" Columbia squealed, bouncing over to the window and pulling back the heavy drapes that Riff had fitted there months prior to her arrival.

Magenta glanced at the earthling wearily, tired of having her time wasted yet again, but once she eventually allowed her eyes to wander to the view outside of the window, she understood. Drifting past, through the bare tree branches and over the stone gargoyles, were large flecks of white, dancing through the dark sky and settling slowly over the grounds of the castle. When Magenta looked down, she saw a thick blanket of white over what would normally be dark grey concrete and stone. It made no sense. Where was this substance coming from and what was it doing here? Why was Columbia so enthralled by it? Magenta turned her head sharply, her eyes narrowing.

"What is it?" she asked, her voice thick.

Still staring out the window, Columbia's whole face seemed to light up, her eyes even wider than usual as she took in the view, and finally answered, "it's _snow_."

Frowning, Magenta looked again. She couldn't understand what was so enchanting about it, but she wanted to. Columbia looked so thrilled at the sight of it. That didn't make any sense. The last time something fell from the sky, it had made everyone miserable and filled the sky with a greyness that hadn't shifted for two days solid. When Magenta had gone out to feed the dogs, she had returned wringing wet and freezing cold, like she'd taken a bath in ice water.

"Yes, but what is it? What does it mean?" she pressed.

That got Columbia's attention. She spun to face her, a look of alarm on her animated features.

"You mean, you don't have snow? You've never _seen snow?_"

Magenta shook her head, becoming more and more impatient. She was always frustrated when Columbia wouldn't explain "Earth things" to her, especially when she sometimes kept her awake all hours of the night asking her questions about Transylvania, no matter how tired Magenta was. Sure, sometimes it was nice to have somebody to talk to, but most of the time she wished for nothing more than a stiff drink, and her brother's bed.

"Oh golly! But... it's _snow_. Y'know..." she started singing, obnoxiously, something about snow and bells and something called a 'sleigh'.

Magenta stared at her, and finally she stopped, seeming to get the message.

"Oh my god, you don't have Christmas do you?!"

-

The next night Magenta arrived at her room, tired despite spending most of the day avoiding Frank and pretending to clean, to find a large cardboard box on her roommate's bed. This only gave her pause for a moment before she remembered that she didn't care, and slunk off to her brother's room. The snow was still falling steadily outside, but at least it was silent, unlike rain, which Magenta loathed. She had left Columbia to feed the dogs earlier, not wanting to admit that she was apprehensive about going outside in this new, unfamiliar weather. When she arrived downstairs, Riff was sitting at the window, gazing out at the snow.

"Snow," Magenta said, draping herself around him, "isn't it... odd?"

"Indeed," her brother agreed, nodding distractedly.

They had curled up together, grateful for each other's warmth in his small, cramped bed, and in the morning, Magenta had headed to her own room for a change of clothes. As soon as she arrived at the door, she knew something was different. A large red sash hung on the door knob, and when she turned it to go in, the blasted thing left tiny red glints of shiny dust all over her hand. She walked in and was immediately blinded by a host of multicolour, twinkling lights, strung all across the ceiling. Columbia had already draped these lights around her own bed, one of the many alterations she'd made to Magenta's room when she first moved in. They had been bearable then, a soft reminder of home for her even if she hated to admit it, but these lights were so bright they made the whole room rosy. In the corner, a large shrub from the castle's grounds sat in a big red pot, covered in yet more lights, as well as silver string-like stuff, and a whole load of small, shiny balls. At the very top, an ugly doll was perched. It was easily the most hideous thing Magenta had ever seen, and she most definitely did not want it in her room.

"What the _fuck_ is this?" she asked, poking a finger in the direction of the monstrosity as soon as she was sure Columbia was awake.

"A. Christmas. Tree." Columbia spoke irritatingly slowly, as if she were explaining to a small child. Magenta scowled at her. It didn't matter how slowly she spoke, she still didn't have a clue what she was going on about.

"Well, I don't want it."

Columbia's face fell, like a child who had had their favourite toy taken away, and Magenta relented, rolling her eyes. She couldn't bear it; she would have to give in.

"You have to have a tree, Mags. Otherwise, where will all the presents go?" she pleaded, a stupid smile on her face at the very mention of 'presents', which fell when she realised that I had no idea what she was talking about, "Oh _geez_ you have a lot to learn."

-

A few nights later, Magenta went to look for her brother, and eventually found him at work on the elevator downstairs. She always liked to watch him work, fascinated by all the things he could do with his hands. They'd yet to find anything he wasn't able to fix if it broke, which was particularly helpful considering how often Magenta had accidents in the kitchen. Tonight, however, she had other thoughts on her mind.

"Riff?"

He dropped the wrench he was working with and turned to look at her, wiping his oily hands on his trousers, "Genta, what are you doing down here?"

"I..." she took a deep breath, producing the green stemmed plant Columbia had sent her down with, and holding it out, "I brought you this."

"...what is it?" he asked, squinting at the ugly looking shrub that was tied together with a tatty old piece of red ribbon.

"Columbia says we are to kiss under it," Magenta explained, matter of factly. She lifted it above their heads and beckoned her brother towards her.

After a quick check to ensure Frank wasn't lurking, Riff Raff obliged, and they kissed awkwardly, Magenta keeping the greenery over them and using her other arm to pull her brother closer. They rarely kissed without it leading to something else – which was almost entirely why they kept most of it to Riff's bedroom – but tonight was an exception. He moved away, his hands lingering at her face for only a moment. Magenta smiled, ticking mistletoe off the mental checklist Columbia had prepared for her.

"Merry Christmas," she said slowly, as her brother stared at her in confusion, "it's an Earth tradition."

"I see... and what else does this Earth tradition require us to do?"

Magenta bent down to retrieve the other item she had brought with her, which was buried in an ugly black satchel she had also borrowed from Columbia. Once she had it, she thrusted it vaguely in her brother's direction.

"A Christmas present," she explained, gesturing awkwardly.

Staring at her a while, Riff eventually began to remove the obnoxiously coloured outer layer of the present, revealing the item underneath. Magenta watched with anticipation, not really knowing what she was supposed to be doing. Columbia had insisted on them involving her brother in this silly little game of hers, but now she regretted it, deciding he probably thought she had lost a few brain cells. Still, she had taken time to pick out what his "present" should be, and she hoped he liked it, even if he didn't understand why she was giving it to him. In Transylvania, they didn't celebrate particular days as humans seemed to. Sure, they gave each other gifts, but not for any sort of occasion. Just a few weeks ago, Riff had presented her with a new negligee, which had been as much a present for him as for her, but there had been no occasion for it. He had just seen it and thought she might like it.

"It's an encyclopedia," the word sounded foreign on her lips, and from the look on Riff's face, he wasn't familiar with it either, so she continued, "it's full of Earth things. I thought you might like to read it... it's like a tablet but made of... _paper._"

"How thoughtful..." Riff said quietly, looking up at her, and then again at his present, "thank you, my dear sister. Now, is there anything else?"

Magenta shook her head, "that will be all. I'll see you tonight."

"Goodnight."

_Well, _Magenta thought, heading back up the stairs to her room, _I don't see what the fuss was about._ But she couldn't help but smile, as she flopped down on her bed, the snow continuing to drift by outside her window, and the little lights of their Christmas tree dancing across the shiny paper of the gifts beneath it.

Perhaps Earth traditions weren't so bad after all.


End file.
